Saturday, July 16, 2016

a new day

When hurt and confusion take up permanent residence, life stands still. It has been 5 years since I have regularly attended church. Tomorrow  I am going back, to the church I left a little over six years ago. To a church I love, with good teaching and good fellowship. I am a little apprehensive - not because I don't love the Lord, or his people, but rather I don't know about myself.

You see after we moved, so many things changed. A new home, city, people and church. I attended a few churches, but felt like I was shopping for a new car, not fellowship. So I waited... and waited. I couldn't figure out why I was so reluctant to return. To find a place and feel at home. So I continued to wait. Slowly, over time I began to see that I was exhausted. I was tired of feeling ugly inside and projecting happiness outside.

I confess, this was nothing imposed by the people or the churches that I attended. No, it was self imposed. I didn't want people to think less of me, to question my faith. Because I have never felt the need to leave my Lord. But day in and day out, so many people enter the doors broken, yet never want others to know our true-selves. Trust me I know, because I have done it more time than I can count. But you know what I am a sinner, through and though. I will be- until the day I meet Him face to face. We are constantly looking for those outside the wall of the church, those we can see and identify a need- a need that we can meet. Yet, we look past those that sit next to us, those who are in need. Those that are in the middle of crisis, failing marriages, drug addictions, and trapped by destructive habits. We know each other on a surface level, yet never go beyond. We are comfortable there, we have little to be accountable for. We are hollow shells that fill the pews, we praise, we amen, and we go home... and wait... for next Sunday.

I know not everyone is complacent, but I believe there are many more than we care to admit. We are called to serve our neighbor, and that starts in the home, with those that are closest to us and then to our extended families. What would the church look like if it were full of true sinners, that were open and honest? How many more would enter without fear of judgement? How many more would find Gods mercy and grace? I don't know... but tomorrow is a new day and that is where I will start.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Finding Beauty Week 2

Weekly inspiration

Emily's Coffee Chat

What can I say I love Emily's blog- Jones Design Company

The Power of How You Were Made-Edie at lifeingrace

Edie shares her faith with grace and beauty

What if Your Dreams DON't Come True
Nourishment for the Soul

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Living with Purpose

This may be long...
            Have you ever looked at your self in the mirror and thought what am I doing? Well that is where I am. Of course, I have been here before, but the answers were relatively easy to find. I am wife, mother, homeschooler, grandmother, you know fill in the blank... However, things are about to change rapidly in my house. My husband has retired and is back in school. So our finances have decreased to a tiny puddle, possibly a mud hole (we did prepare for this time). My children will all be parting ways, as they move on in life. Two will remain here in Colorado and one is moving to the Pacific Northwest, taking all the wee ones. So our nest will be empty. And the final change most likely the biggest is my husband I will be moving back to California, into a small apartment. So not only will my children be out of the nest, they will be 15 hours away. Needless to say I have been an emotional basket case. At least I have five more months with most of them.
            So yes, when I look in the mirror, I honestly wonder what am I doing, what am I going to do??? So here I am, writing to help ease the pain, confusion and at times joy that I feel.
            My husband urged me to take up a hobby to serve as a diversion and give me something to do during this transition. So this is where I have landed thinking about living my life with purpose. That is my one goal this year! Not a resolution, I don’t make them, because I never keep them. I want to find out who I am. Maybe you are in the same place…
            This year I want to learn about my style both in fashion, and in the home. In a sense cultivate the true me. I want to actually read the millions books that I have collected, instead of just dust them. I want to make use of my pinterest board, instead of just pinning and gazing over all the beauty out there.
I WANT TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST! I want to KNOW who I am. Therefore, I am going to live life on Purpose. So come along and find out with me, it may not be pretty or witty but it will be real.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Finding Beauty

This weeks inspiration

I hope you enjoy this weeks inspiration. January can be a bleak month look for new ways to bring joy into your life. Please share what you find inspiring?

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Loving today...

My new water color app. 

These are pictures taken at my husbands family home. I loved the originals but I must say I love the water color even more. The app is waterlogue. I highly recommend this little app.